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I need help // Body Confidence and Self Love


Hey lovelies. This isn't going to be the most cheerful post, instead one of the most personal ones I've written in a while and so to anyone reading this who knows me in real life... maybe click off. Sometimes it's easier to share with the people you've never met than those closest to you if that makes sense, and I feel like this post is one of those things. 

Body Confidence. 
Every teenager has body confidence issues and insecurities I get that, but lately it's been taking more and more of my life up and it's gotten to the point where there's not a day I don't think about it. I've never loved my body, I can remember thinking when I was younger how silly it was that people didn't like what they looked like, 8-year-old me just didn't get it and promised (while probably watching disney channel) that I would never be like those kind of  tv 'teenagers.' Needless to say, that never stuck and like everyone I've just had to deal with all those FAB insecurities that come with being a teenage girl but right now I'm going through a tougher time than I ever have before with it. 

If you've been reading my blog for a while you'll know that fitness / healthy eating is a big part of my life and something I love. Just a click on the 'food' section of my homepage will bring up all sorts of Vegan Recipes and healthy inspo but now i feel lost. Constantly feeling like I'm 'fat' and hating myself means my head's a mess and I no longer know 'what's healthy' and 'what's not' anymore. High Protein? Vegan? No Carbs? Ditch Sugar? Just stop eating completely? What's worse it the people I know best probably don't even realise how often these thoughts are going through my head as I talk to them and go about my normal day, and why I can't seem to let them go.

The gym used to be my happy place, I'd go 3-4 times a week without too much effort and work out there, for stress-relief as well as just exersising. People will compliment me on how dedicated I am to it or how fit I am for going to the gym so often, and I guess I never gave myself proper credit for that. But now it's a punishment. I feel myself slipping into these bad habits, you know the kind - and I'm worried. Because I've seen in other people how badly it affects them, I've had friends who have suffered because of that mindset and still are even now and I really don't want to fall into that trap. 

I'm writing here now because (while let me just clarify I'm not suffering with any kind of eating disorder) I've noticed warning signs of how much body confidence is taking a toll on my mental health and I need to tackle it NOW. For once this isn't an advice post, a few cheesy quotes about self-love and a QOTD... this is me asking for help. If you've been through anything similar- past or present - or you have any tips on what helped you get over it please leave them below. It would mean a lot to me and I could definitely use all the advice possible xx



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18 comments

  1. Bin those photos of inspo bodies right now and unfollow any fitness accounts on your social media channels. The moment you begin to idolise these types of people instead of admire is when there should be red flags flashing. Everyone has body confidence issues but to me, yours seem like a little more than that especially with the working out to burn off a portion of fries or a certain meal you have had. It's not healthy at all and it could potentially spiral into something worse. I have no idea what advice to give you to change your mindset and the way you view your body because that's ultimately up to you and I can merely watch from the sidelines but I personally think you should write off the gym going and maybe go for lighter exercises (so no cardio!) like yoga which isn't as strenuous and isn't usually done with the intent of bettering your body per se but more for you mind and mental health. I would know how tough it is and I myself have unfortunately taken it too far when I was around your age and it ended pretty ugly which is why, as I read your post I have multiple alarm bells ringing. Please email me at tahiradalal@gmail.com or DM on if you want to talk to me about this more. I hope you're taking good care of yourself and I'm sending you all the positive vibes

    Dalal

    dalaltahira.com

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    1. Thank you, I've heard a lot about yoga for mind // body and I feel like yeah that's the next step for me. I don't want to eliminate exercise now or beware of it but you're right it could be doing me more bad than good x

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  2. Everyone has their "flaws", I think recognising your own is so important in order to grow mentally, If we thought we were perfect then that would not be normal. I think that its fantastic that you're eating healthy and watching your weight, as its an important factor for healthy living, but don't stress yourself over it (easy said than done right). I used to count every calorie I took each day and I feel like I stressed myself out more overthinking about if I ate too many calories that day, then I was losing sleep and skipping meals, which is a lot worse than having a slice of pizza now and then. As for the gym, switch it up a bit. I was the exact same went 3-5 days a week and loved it then fell out of bounce with it. So I took some time off and slowly missed it, when I went back I always made sure I was trying new things out instead of getting into a routine as that is what I dreaded (no one wants to do 50 sit ups every gym session). Don't work your life around dieting though, don't let it put you off certain foods. You only live once so enjoy food! :) x

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    1. This means so much thank you <3
      I feel like so many people have gone through a stage like this at least once in their life and hopefully I can get rid of this mindset soon. Your support means a lot xx

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  3. I can definitely relate to this because I still get so upset about my body and feel guilty about what I eat which I shouldn't be. I'm not a professional but for me I just tell myself that it doesn't matter how I look but how I feel. I should be able to eat what I want and not get upset. I'm sorry for not giving much advice because right now I'm still struggling but if it gets really bad definitely talk to someone about it because that always helps. Wishing you the best of luck with everything x

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    1. I'll be sure to try that too. At the end of the day you're right it really is just about how you feel. I could be the skinniest person ever but if I don't feel happy in it then there's no point x

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  4. Self-confidence is a big thing. I mean, even though I'm almost 24 years old, I still face those issues from time to time. We have to step back and think - is this pressure coming from external (other people saying things) or yourself that is causing these thoughts. Sending you lots of love and support! You're working towards your goals and keep on being strong!

    exquisitely.me

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    1. That's true and for me I feel like it's all internal pressure I'm putting on myself. Thank you Nancy xx

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  5. Morgan, my love, I can totally empathise with how you're feeling. From the age of 12-14, I was in a very low place mentally, particularly involving how I felt about myself and how I viewed my weight and my fitness. I can promise you now though, this stuff doesn't matter half as much as you think it does. It's admirable how clued up you are for your age, but honestly, try to take a step back and not put too much pressure on yourself. It isn't healthy and you don't want it to spiral out of control. Like other people have said, perhaps try switching it up a bit to reduce the expectations that have been formed. Maybe try some yoga, going for regular walks, starting a dance class, joining a club at school. Set yourself small goals that you can realistically achieve and that will help you to get close to being happy and healthy. Get rid of any social media sites or anybody who is adding to your stress and try to shift your perspective into one that is less damaging. You are such a wonderful young lady and worth so much more than your weight.

    I hope you feel better soon. You know where I am if ever you need to talk and I promise I will try my very best to be of some help or support.

    Stay safe, stay strong and stay away from any negativity.

    I'm sending you all the love and well wishes in the world, sweetie.

    Biggest hugs,

    Jade xo | www.simplyjadey.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much for this Jade, I love you! I feel like this age is the worst for body confidence but I'm going to try my hardest to take advice from this and other comments and fix this messy thing. Thank you endlessly for all the support

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  6. Sending you all of the love right now!!

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  7. I love that you have the mindset of dealing with this before it becomes a serious issue. Honestly, I'm 23 and I still struggle with accepting me for me and don't have the best relationship with my own self confidence. It takes a lot to acknowledge it publicly. Good luck with bettering yourself x

    Sophie
    www.glowsteady.co.uk

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    1. Yeah I guess at least I'm able to recognise the issue now maybe it will help me fix it sooner. Thanks Sophie <3

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  8. I've been dealing with this kind of issue since I was about 14 (I'm 27 now). Although it has got better over time there are definitely days where I feel terrible and hate my body. But, I have found ways to cope and ways to recognise those warning signals. I saw some other people commented that you should delete the fitness and body inspo pictures, or unfollow them on insta etc. I really think that that is a wise idea. Getting rid of those 'negative' inspirations for you is so important. Take time out for you and maybe talk to someone you are really close to. It is really important to talk to someone and get those feelings out in the open - you'll feel much better once you do!
    All the best! xx

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  9. This was such an honest post and it took a lot of confidence to write something like this for everyone to see so well done you for acknowledging it and asking for help I'm told that's one of the first steps in making changes! I agree with the advice other people have given you about getting rid of all the fitness body photos and unfollowing them on social media, yes having a perfect body would be nice but even bikini models will tell you it's not sustainable in the long run and it takes a lot of hard work to get a body like that and it's even harder to maintain it! The best diet for me is to eat healthily but if my body is craving something like chocolate or a pizza I will let myself have it every so often, if you deprive yourself you'll only want it more! Also if you're working out please don't stop eating carbs they're what fuel your body (which I'm sure you know) but I don't want you to become ill if you're not eating enough! I hope you get through this soon hun!

    Jess // foundationsandfairytales.wordpress.com
    xx

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  10. I can relate to this so much! The past summer I gained weight, even though it was the tiniest amount gained, I noticed it. I am trying so hard to get back into fitness and the gym, but I just can't find the time or am 'not in the mood'. But I am trying to get better!

    Florence xx

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  11. Although there is no way I can claim to understand exactly how you feel, know that you're not alone in these feelings of insecurity. At age 16, and at age 26, I struggled with body confidence and self-esteem. You'd think I'd be "over it" by now, but even my mother has parts of her body she doesn't quite like. I'm sure when I'm 36, there will still be things I do not like about myself or my body. Just remember that your body is yours, and it loves you, even when you don't love it. Perhaps integrating some self-care routines would help? Loving yourself, in my opinion, is about taking care of your body AND spirit. Love yourself by feeding your body what it needs, but also listening to it's desires - not depriving it. Eat the apple, but have the cake. It means saying KIND words to yourself! Speak to yourself how you would speak to your best friend. Use encouraging, loving words. Support yourself. Believe in yourself! If today was not a good day, you still have tomorrow.

    Sending hugs your way.

    Jocelyn | soulandscribble.wordpress.com

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Thank you, all your lovely comments make me smile!